FT.com - article

Over the next few weeks, bankers will meet their bosses to discuss their year-end bonuses. The moment can be fraught with awkwardness and paranoia as managers try to balance keeping their employees happy while trying to pay them as little as they can without histrionics and resignation threats.But when the managers' words don't match the amount of money they are handing out, the double speak can be extremely confused.So for anyone new to the industry, here is a reminder of what is being said by managers and what it really means to their bonus-hungry staff. "The M&A department has had a very tough year." What money there is, I'm taking. "Your cross-evaluations were very low this year." Everyone in the department hates working with you, but you made some money so we have to pay you. "You have been awarded one of the highest bonuses of your peer group." If only you knew how little you were being paid. "We have developed a really innovative compensation structure this year." We are offloading our subordinated debt and toxic assets to you because no one else will take them. "Some bankers' contributions to the firm cannot be measured in terms of profit and loss." I'm planning on giving the most of the bonus pot to the people who have watched my back this year. "At some point, you have to step away from the money issue and think about the other rewards that come with being a banker." Start updating your CV. "We want to congratulate you on your promotion to assistant head of coverage and relationships, EMEA." There is no money to pay you, so here is a fancy new title instead. "The market is significantly down this year." Your old trick of trying to play us off against another bank won't work this year – there ain't no one hiring. "You had a great year and we really stretched to pay you." I hope this keeps you quiet about our affair.lina.saigol@ft.com